“Just pour some warm olive oil in it,” said my father-in-law between drags on a Marlboro Red and sips of thick Turkish coffee. “That should fix your earache,” he said to my husband.
“But Bogoljub, how can olive oil cure an ear infection?” I interjected, ever skeptical of the home remedies that my Bosnian in-laws proffered whenever one of us was sick.
“That, and a dirty hat,” he replied, matter-of-factly. “You’ll see.”
“What do you mean by a dirty hat? One that is covered in dirt? One that’s greasy?” I asked, incredulous that this was part of his prescription.
Hi everyone, I’m Jake. And I’m an addict. I need your support as I try to wean myself off of organic farming. I’ve tried to quit so many times because it’s causing a lot of problems for me and my image, but the thing is, I’m addicted to the lifestyle.
And not just for the digestive benefits, although those are clearly documented in the scientific literature. (Thank goodness those horrible government jailers were kind enough to move me so my IBS doesn’t flare up again!) It’s the serenity I get when I commune with my shaman spirits while performing energetic…
I love my Bosnian in-laws. They survived a war. They’re tough, stoic and throw a mean stream of profanity. But there are a few things I should have told them before they came to America to make their visit more comfortable for all, and to avoid their detention by US law enforcement.
To all of you out there feigning surprise at the latest news that our shaman, Jake Angeli, is craving organic, I say: pshaw, or rather, I told you so! I tried to warn you, but no, my fellow QAnon patriots, you wouldn’t believe it.
Maybe now you’ll finally acknowledge these telltale signs that he was a libtard, plant-eating, Antifa demon all along!
With the vaccine now rolling out, I may never get the chance again.
When COVID hit, like many Americans, I was in the middle of trying to lose weight. Thirty pounds, to be exact, the leftover from my two pregnancies. (Ok, my boys just might be teenagers now but don’t judge).
I figured that quarantine would basically put an end to any weight loss that might have been on my horizon So, like any good suburban woman who is actually not a housewife (this is not the 1950s even though some politicians would have you believe that it is), I…
Project manager by day, fledgling humorista by night.